blog

2025 is already half over... i can't believe it. what!!

after some deliberation i will be participating in artfight! just not very actively... if i can crank out an attack or two i'll be satisfied. here's my account if you'd like to follow me. go team fossil!!! 🦴🦕

summer is nice so far... i'm taking my time and "resting" by which i mean working feverishly on all my little projects. yay! i'm moving along in my usual slapdash style — working on about forty things at once and alternating between them every half an hour

i was originally thinking of using the summer to produce a demo for bad dream. i drafted a version of the intro sequence (the part that the demo would cover) and laid some code foundations but i still can't really settle on the full story so it's probably not actually the best time for me to produce this... instead i've been creating a smaller game that i plan to finish in august.

i've been calling it "bjay game" for now because it sounds like blow job game and that's funny. it's an "arcade side-scrolling bullet-hell mail delivery game" set in aerie starring the one and only jay steller wright. i started this as an exercise to flesh out aerie a bit more but it's fun and not too complex a project to work on so i plan to see it through to the end. current progress: i started implementing some phase patterns but i think they stink so i want to redesign them. i'm replaying the new deltarune chapters for inspiration.

in between all of this i'm still working on my site... i'd like to have the essential pages (like the index, about page, etc) up by the end of the summer but i don't have any plans in place. i'm sure you've noticed i'm tweaking this page a little. i briefly had folders in the navigation but i've moved back to the single feed. & i'm testing a new softer gradient-y-er look that i want to mimic on the left page as well but i haven't gotten to that yet.

p.s.

you could go through nearly every blog post here and find some variation on the phrase "i want to blog more" and it's true! i have a deep self-professed interest in blogging i love reading other people's blogs a lot i like the little glimpses into other people's lives. i'd like to construct a similar window for myself, but i think i just hate actually writing posts... it's a similar thing with all writing i do in that i feel like it's monumental and so i rarely dedicate time to it. but it never actually takes that long. yeah? any way i want to blog more.

it connects to a lingering issue i've had with earlier versions of this site, that i always limit how much i actually express myself here. in theory this is my house but instead of making it comfortable for myself i keep prioritizing preparing it for guests... not that it's your guys' fault or anything.

lately i've been thinking a lot about how much i'm actually enjoying creating. i feel like i hit a wall recently; creating just feels stressful — i'm the kind of person who always stresses herself out by setting high standards for her creative output, even when it's just for fun and standards kind of defeat the purpose. but i create because i do enjoy creating! so i'm exploring. trying to chase that original enjoyment again. i don't think my work even gets any worse i'm just like, less stressed out.

pps. every winter i forget just how beautiful fruit is as a concept. rips open my shirt that says i ♡ apricots